I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
God gave him joint rollers for hands
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
