weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
