yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
