yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
