Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
