I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize