u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
