I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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