dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
At least life still wants to fuck me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
