I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
