ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
