oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
