It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
this boner is exhausting
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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