whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize