I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
