Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Couch. On fire.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize