I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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