I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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