He kissed a someone with a penis
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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