You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
