I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
