How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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