he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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