You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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