Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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