Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
