the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
