We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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