Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
