Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
