I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
