He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
