Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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