just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize