how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you fell through a lawn chair
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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