their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
