so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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