I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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