i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
