She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
