I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
