Grow some girl-balls and come out already
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
