whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The adults are the big ones right?
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