did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
