Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm at about main and main street
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
