He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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