i jhust puked up my retainher.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize