ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
