he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
