He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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