There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.