You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
vagina is talking i cant
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We're too hungover to prance.