Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My nipple is on Facebook.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....