I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.