I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
