Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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