I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
