How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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