She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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