If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
