I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
