yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
