it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
