I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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