I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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