hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
