What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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