Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Found the puke drawer
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
